


drummer boy blues

by laneboy



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Depression, Sad Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:51:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4041115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laneboy/pseuds/laneboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a routine now, for Josh.</p>
<p>He's just not allowed to be sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drummer boy blues

It's a routine now, for Josh.

He wakes up, puts on a smile for the entire day. He's not really allowed to be sad. Tyler's the one with the problems.

Tyler's the one that crawls into his bunk in the middle of the night because he's had a nightmare and needs Josh to hold him.

Tyler's the one that needs constant reassurance before every show, needs to be told he won't mess up, won't fail the fans.

And if Josh's anxiety shakes his hands enough for him to mess up, well, Tyler just gives him an annoyed look. But he's not allowed to complain.

Josh can't remember the last time he's actually cried. Maybe it was when Tyler handed him the lyric sheet to a song he was working on. And Josh read and reread the lyrics in front of him. _I don't care what's in your hair,_ and _because of you, I might think twice,_ all in Tyler's messy scrawl.

But before he could ask if it was about him, Tyler exclaimed happily, "it's about the clique!"

Josh cried that night until he didn't have the energy to.

There were no songs written about Josh.

And really, Josh should talk to someone. About the constant feeling of dread in his chest. Or the deep pangs of jealousy whenever Tyler shows someone else more affection than he's ever given Josh.

He should talk to someone, but he doesn't. Because no one really cares, right?

_Take advice from Tyler,_ and he can't, because he's not allowed to tell Tyler how he feels.

Josh doesn't hate Tyler. He loves him more than he loves himself. He just doesn't the feeling he gets when he tries to talk to him.

_You're bothering him, leave him alone, his problems are worse than yours, you're not that important,_

And Josh hates to agree.

But really, it's routine now. To wake up, pretend he's okay. Put on a smile no one cares about enough to realize it's so fake that it hurts.

He's just not allowed to be sad.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this. i got the idea from the vine spam on jazminedunseph's instagram page. and, it just seems a bit like josh might feel this way.
> 
> please leave comments and kudos.


End file.
